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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109112">don't @ me</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean'>EzzyDean</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, M/M, Multi, Social Media Fic, chat fic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 15:14:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,914</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109112</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/EzzyDean/pseuds/EzzyDean</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is a messy thing to begin with and when you add in group chats, social media and phone calls, well, communicating with your friends can be just as messy.</p><p>(this is a conversation fic.  texts, messengers, group chats, social media mentions, phone calls... just all kinds of conversations everywhere.<br/>this is largely Oikawa &amp; Kuroo-centric but a lot of characters pop up here and there and a few pairings come to life through this fic)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kuroo Tetsurou &amp; Oikawa Tooru, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi, Oikawa Tooru/Sawamura Daichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>109</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>don't @ me</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just a quick note.   </p><p>——————————————————— indicates a change in scene<br/>- is simply a change in conversation like a swap from one chat to another that is happening at the "same" time</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  And I dunno. Just something about that imagery. I just really love Icarus/the sun imagery.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  i love cock</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I… I’m</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I’m trying to make a point about something. About loving something so much you’d die for it. About loving something so much it kills you and you. You reply with cock.</p><p><b>prettiest bo</b>y:  what can i say? i'm a simple man with simple pleasures</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  You are a nuisance. That’s what you are. I can’t believe I even talk to you like damn.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  yeah i'm still not too sure about the whys of that one myself</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  neways.. icarus and the sun?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  YES. Just. Can you imagine? Loving something that much? Loving it so much you let it destroy you?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  do you…. do you know who the fuck you’re talking to?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  do you not remember how the fuck we started talking? did i just hallucinate meeting you in that hospital hallway?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Fuck. Shit.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  WElp now I feel like an asshole.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  so yes i do know what it’s like to love something so much you’re willing to let it destroy you. what it’s like to be so enamored with something that you don’t care how much it breaks you. what it’s like to let something consume you from the inside out until you’re nothing but a hollowed out husk of what you once were and yet you still can’t be angry at it. i know what it’s like to be absolutely ruined by something you love, something you’d die for, and still love it.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  i am the icarus of my own life and volleyball is my sin.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  volleyball is my sun. but sin works too</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Damn. I still feel like an asshole but holy shit that was poetic.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Why can’t you be this eloquent in real life?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  i'm too busy being gorgeous and ethereal and shit to be poetic and eloquent offline</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  No seriously. That was amazing. It gave me chills.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  huh. interesting</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  What?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  you got chills. i got burnt.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  smh why are we friends.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  good question</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>me-me</b>:  OH MY MATTSUN</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  thats a little too gay for me</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Takahiro.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  I have LITERALLY sucked your dick before.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Like</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  yeah</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  But. But we said no homo</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  I lied</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  It was very much yes homo</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>“Hey Makki what’s up?”</p><p> </p><p> "OIKAWA!”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s my name, Makki.” </p><p> </p><p>“OIKAWA MATTSUN LIED WHEN HE NO HOMO-ED ME! IT WAS TOTALLY YES HOMO!"</p><p> </p><p>"And? Can we make today's meltdown quick? I love you but I'm busy sending dick memes to Kuroo right now. I only have so many minutes before he's out of his 10AM lecture and can start replying angrily."</p><p> </p><p>“I am having a crisis and you’re sending dick memes to Kuroo?”</p><p> </p><p>“Well not right this second. I can’t send him dick memes and talk to you at the same time. Well I probably could but that’s a lot more effort. Anyway what’s the problem?”</p><p> </p><p>“Um. He lied when he no homo-ed me?”</p><p> </p><p>“So? You want to bang him. He wants to bang you. So. Bang away.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why did I think you would help me?”</p><p> </p><p>“If you find an answer let me know. Because a lot of people have been asking me that and I, too, would like to know why people keep thinking I can help them.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re horrible. I should have called Iwaizumi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Hanamaki. You’re not even mad that he lied about the no homo. You’re mad that he kept a secret from you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sh-shut up.”</p><p> </p><p>“Let me tell you a thing. You’ve loved that boy since he made you laugh so hard you shot soda out your nose at him. He’s loved you for nearly as long. I’ve never met two people more made for each other than the two of you. Life has thrown some shit at the two of you and you just help each other up, clean the shit off, and keep going on.”</p><p> </p><p>“He loves me?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nearly as much as you love him Hanamaki Takahiro.”</p><p><br/>
<br/>
<br/>
</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  what the fuck am I supposed to do with this information?</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  like. What the?</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  fuck Mattsun?</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Well fucking Mattsun (aka me) is always an option.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Sorry. I just.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Dude I’ve liked you since we were like 13 and you had braces and I barely knew what a comb was.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  I just can’t keep up with the fwb no homo shit we’ve got going on when all I want is to push you down on a couch and make out with you for hours</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  and buy you dumb gifts and go out to movies and hold your hand.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  That’s way past fwb and very much yes homo.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  And I just can’t keep pretending that I can look at you and NOT see a future with you by my side, in my home, laughing at my bed head and morning wood and poor cooking skills.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  I can’t keep pretending that I don’t love you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  So are we still on for this weekend?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  only if you wear that underwear again</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  You are such a pervert sometimes.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  um hello this is basically a booty call through messenger</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  what else am i supposed to do?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  ask you how your day was?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  I knew it. You only like me for my body.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i mean it is a very nice body. muscles in all the right places.</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  As opposed to all the wrong places?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  wow.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  just……….. wow</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Hajime</b> @seijougremlin</p><p>Look @grandkingoiks it’s you</p><p>[image id: large green trash can overflowing with loose refuse, the lid is nearly falling off the top of the pile, a large raccoon sits next to it]</p><p> </p><p><b>King Tooru</b> @grandkingoiks</p><p>replying to @seijougremlin</p><p>aww you took a selfie</p><p> </p><p><b>Hajime</b> @seijougremlin</p><p>replying to @grandkingoiks</p><p>Yeah no. It’s you.</p><p> </p><p><b>King Tooru</b> @grandkingoiks</p><p>replying to @seijougremlin</p><p>um sweaty no</p><p> </p><p><b>Hajime </b>@seijougremlin</p><p>replying to @grandkingoiks</p><p>Maybe if you’d wear your real prescription glasses and not your #fashion ones you’d see that it’s you.</p><p> </p><p><b>there’s no place like [home] the basement of an abandoned hospital </b>@uwishuwerememe</p><p>replying to @grandkingoiks and @seijougremlin</p><p>Both of you need glasses. Clearly it’s @hahayahaba and his pet trash panda @kyouken01</p><p> </p><p><b>Shigeru</b> @hahayahaba</p><p>replying to @uwishuwerememe</p><p>You are only alive because I respect you as my Senpai. And because I could never make Matsukawa-senpai cry by killing you.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  okay but kuro-chan you asked last week, and i quote, 'do you ever take a massive shit and think, this is how big a cock i could take?'</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I have no idea what you’re talking about!!? I would never.</p><p>
  <b>prettiest boy sent an image</b>
</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I am hurt that you saved that.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  We’re no longer friends.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  BLOCKED</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  mission accomplished</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  So I have a serious question.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I have an answer.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  I am going to regret this. But. So I think I have feelings. Like. Feelings with a capital letter and sparkly little glitters and shit. For a person that I never imagined having feelings for and I am not sure what to do about them.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  There wasn’t a question there though.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  What do I do about them?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Elephants.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  The hell?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I said I have an answer. I never said it would be in any way relevant to your question.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  This is why we can’t have nice things Kuroo.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  And here I thought we couldn’t have nice things because you always say no when I ask you to marry me.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Kuroo</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Tsukki</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Can you be serious? Please?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Oh shit. I mean. I want to help you. I really do. I swear I do.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  But come on Tuskki. I can barely even talk to the guy I like without exploding into a million little dumb pieces.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I don’t know that anything I can tell you will help you any.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  I should have known you’d be a disaster.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  You just seemed the safest option to talk to about it.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Safest option? What about… uh… what’s his face… Yamaguchi?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Or hell Shorty? Didn’t you say that you two were becoming pretty good friends?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Yamaguchi has his own relationship things to worry about right now and I can’t talk to Hinata about this.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Why can’t you-</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Oh</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Oooooooooh</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Wow. It took you twenty minutes. </p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Hinata would have me figured out in like ten. Which is why I can’t talk to him about this at all.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  You’re telling me that Shorty would figure out you like him faster than I did? That Shorty’s smarter than me.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Despite all evidence to the contrary. Hinata isn’t always dumb.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  And even when he is I like him.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  FUCK</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Language.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>kitten</b>:  So there’s this guy right?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  At the library. Like all the time.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  And he’s so nice? Like unfairly nice?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  And today I dropped my pencil and he handed it to me and our fingers brushed and fuck my life I swear to you Oikawa I saw fucking stars.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Like stupid glittery heart cartoon pastels and floral shit.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  gay</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  You literally talk about cocks all the time.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  You sent me intimate, somewhat graphic details about the cock that belongs to the guy you’ve been sleeping with.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Like I could probably sketch it if I could draw and the guy could look at it and be like ‘hey that’s my dick! how do you know what it looks like?’</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  and yet somehow i am still not as gay as u</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Why are we friends?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  1) one day i’ll actually be offended by that 2) one day you’ll make me ask that question and the world will implode 3) we’re friends because no one else in the hospital could stand either of us because we’re complete assholes when we’re injured and we made that everyone else’s problems</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Hm. Good point.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  neways.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  your guy?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Fuck I just. He’s too nice and sweet and when he smiles? Like. Ugh.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  damn. ur super gay</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I’m super fucked. And not the way you’re always super fucked.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  awww poor babe</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Sometimes I wish I could be like you and just sex without feelings.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  it has it’s moments</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>applepi</b>:  jst a reminder</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  @bedheaded is a dirty traitor and is not to be trusted</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  any1 caught aiding or abetting him will be subjected to images of Alisa’s disappointed face</p><p><b>leg</b>:  YOU CAN’T USE MY SISTER LIKE THAT</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  she offered</p><p><b>leg</b>:  oh</p><p><b>yakkityaku</b>:  What did Kuroo do this time?</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  the specifics do not matter. jst know he deserves it</p><p><b>toratora</b>:  Kenma</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  tora u will not dissuade me from my path of vengeance</p><p><b>toratora</b>:  Kenma</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  tora no</p><p><b>Yuuki</b>:  Um. But</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  no.</p><p><b>Yuuki</b>:  Oh. Okay.</p><p><b>yakkityaku</b>:  Kenma do not speak to Yuuki that way. He did nothing to you.</p><p><b>Yuuki</b>: I t’s okay Yaku-san.</p><p><b>yakkityaku</b>:  Apologize Kenma.</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  …. </p><p><b>yakkityaku</b> <b>sent an image</b></p><p><b>applepi</b>:  how dare u use Alisa’s image against me?</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  betrayal</p><p><b>yakkityaku</b> <b>sent an image</b></p><p><b>yakkityaku</b> <b>sent an image</b></p><p><b>yakkityaku</b> <b>sent an image</b></p><p><b>yakkityaku</b> <b>sent an image</b></p><p><b>yakkityaku</b> <b>sent an image</b></p><p><b>applepi</b>:  how do u have so many disappointed Alisa faces</p><p><b>fukunaga</b>:  (=ㅇᆽㅇ=)</p><p><b>toratora</b>:  Fukunaga is right. Can’t we all just get along?</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  sorry yuuki</p><p><b>applepi</b>:  @bedheaded is still a traitor tho</p><p>…</p><p>…</p><p><b>bedheaded</b>:  how the hell did I miss 597 messages in the fifteen minutes I was on the phone with Kenma’s dad?</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Hey. Iwaizumi.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mattsun what’s up?”</p><p> </p><p>“So, uh, I think I might have fucked things up. Like really bad.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“So I kind of spilled the fact that I’m stupidly in love with Makki. To Makki. And now I haven’t heard from him in three days and I don’t even know if he’s read my messages or listened to the voice mail I left him or anything.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mail or mails, plural?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mail. I’m upset but I’m not quite desperate yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yet.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah. Yet. I just. He said something about something I messaged him being too gay and I told him I have literally sucked his dick and he made a joke about how I said ‘no homo’ and I told him I lied. And that it was yes homo. And then that wound up leading to me telling him, via chat, that I’ve liked him since we were thirteen and that I love him and that I can’t think about the future without him in it and then yeah. Now I haven’t heard from him and I don’t really know what to do.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well shit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what’s on the agenda? What do you need from me? Are we getting drunk and watching movies? Going out to a club? Karaoke with the roommates? Ice cream and horror movies so you can be the big hero and let me hide behind your back?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just weird Hajime.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh fuck.”</p><p> </p><p>“What?”</p><p> </p><p>“You pulled out Hajime. It’s fucking serious now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh fuck you.”</p><p> </p><p>“One: I’m not the one you wanna fuck. Two: I am happily taken and she doesn’t share. Three: I may be a bisexual disaster but you sir are a mess.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know I am. So what the hell am I supposed to do?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re going to come over. We’re going to get some cheap take out. We’re going to watch a bunch of movies. Maybe we’ll have a few drinks. Post a few pics on Snapchat or Instagram. And we’ll see what happens. You and I both know that Makki can’t resist your sad pouty face. And if he tries then Oikawa will get on his ass about it eventually. And no one wants that.”</p><p> </p><p>“Have I told you today how awesome of a friend you are?”</p><p> </p><p>“Tell me in an hour when you’re here so I can punch you in the shoulder like a manly man and all that shit.”</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds like a plan.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  Hey Kuroo I have a question.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Why does everyone have questions for me lately? Do I look like a magic 8 ball or something?</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  Reply hazy, try again</p><p><b>Tesurou</b>:  ……..</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>kitten</b>:  SO THE GUY FROM THE LIBRARY JUST GOT MY STUPID REFERENCE AND HE REPLIED IN REFERENCE</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  THIS IS UNFAIR</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  FUCK MY LIFE</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  damn son</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  this guy got you to capslock and abandon punctuation</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  when’s the wedding?</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  You okay Kuroo?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  SOrry I;m just not used to people getting my stupid references.</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b> :  Oh. Well. I mean. It wasn’t <em> that </em> geeky of a reference. I think most people know what a magic 8 ball is.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Most people wouldn’t know that ‘reply hazy try again’ is a thing on it though.</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  You got me there.</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  I have just outed myself.</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  I have a magic 8 ball. TO be fair Suga got it for me in 2nd year…. but I use it more than I probably should to make decisions in life.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  so this guy i’m friends with is freaking out because he found out the guy he likes is as dorky as he is</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  it’s kind of adorable</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  hey there’s nothing wrong with being dorky</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  you like my dorkiness</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  it’s part of why you’re so hot and bothered for me all the time</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  you’re getting your dick confused with your dork</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  yeah we’ll they’re both decent enough sized for you to appreciate them</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I DON’T UNDERSTNAD IT HOW CAN HE BE HOT ANDCUTE AT THE SME TIME THIS ISN’T FISAR!!</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  and now the spelling</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  forget the wedding why aren’t you on the honeymoon?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  ooooh kuroo-chan are you messaging me on your honeymoon? kinky.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Go fuck yourself.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i’d rather find someone to fuck me</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Fuck Ihate you sometimes</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I do not like a single thing aboutyou</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  ooooh tell me more</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  what the fuck? this isn’t sexting.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  nah man this is even better to be honest</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  is it bad that i enjoy riling him up so much?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  does that make me a bad person?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  it makes you, you.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i’m not sure if that is a compliment but i’ll take it as one</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  Seriously Kuroo. Are you okay? Is this a bad time?</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  We can talk later. Or I can just ask at the library tomorrow.</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  Yeah I’ll just ask at the library tomorrow. Hope everything is okay.</p><p><b>mochi-mochi</b>:  Good night Kuroo.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Why am I like this?</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>DADCHI</b> @sawamuradadchi</p><p>fyi spinal fluid is the worst term ever like the images it brings up?</p><p> </p><p><b>DADCHI </b>@sawamuradadchi</p><p>[taps spigot attached to spine] come get some juice everyone</p><p> </p><p><b>bish i’m free </b>@freestylin247</p><p>replying to @sawamuradadchi</p><p>that is disgusting. we’ve never met and i hope it stays that way</p><p> </p><p><b>DADCHI</b> @sawamuradadchi</p><p>replying to @freestylin247</p><p>this is the most powerful reply i’ve ever gotten</p><p> </p><p><b>trip hazards are not a joke </b>@makinwaves</p><p>replying to @sawamuradadchi and @freestylin247</p><p>slurp slurp</p><p> </p><p><b>bish i’m free</b> @freestylin247</p><p>replying to @makinwaves</p><p>nagisa i stg</p><p> </p><p><b>trip hazards are not a joke </b>@makinwaves</p><p>replying to @sawamuradadchi and @freestylin247</p><p>free soup</p><p> </p><p><b>DADCHI</b> @sawamuradadchi</p><p>replying to @makinwaves</p><p>to quote @freetsyling247 we’ve never met and i hope it stays that way</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  I have to kill him. I have no idea how to hit on him.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Or tell him I like him.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  So I have to kill him.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Or move to an entirely different country.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Or both. </p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Both is good right??</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>therealkageyamatobio</b>
</p><p> </p><p>[image id: two young men (Iwaizumi Hajime &amp; Matsukawa Issei) together on a couch, legs tangled up, smiles on their faces, cheeks flushed. Iwaizumi has a handful of popcorn in one hand and is tugging Matsukawa’s hoodie to the side in what appears to be an attempt to shove the popcorn in his hoodie. Matsukawa appears to be laughing too hard to put up a fight]</p><p> </p><p>Just look at these two. #friendshipgoals #ijustloveseeinghimhappy #blessed</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>gumdroppedbuttons</b>
</p><p> </p><p>[image id: a young man (Kageyama Tobio) standing in a doorway smiling fondly at the scene in front of him]</p><p> </p><p>If I didn’t know @iwaizumithegremlin was 1000% mine I’d almost be a little jealous of how fondly @therealkageyamatobio stares at him. #lovetheseboys</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>therealkageyamatobio</b>
</p><p> </p><p>[image id: four young adults, three male one female, (Iwaizumi Hajime, Matsukawa Issei, Kageyama Tobio, &amp; Michimiya Yui) are squished together on a couch, laughing and smiling as one (Kageyama) holds out the camera for the picture. They all have their arms around each other and are sprawled against and on top of each other to make it in the shot.]</p><p> </p><p>The best nights are the nights with friends. @iwaizumithegremlin @gumdroppedbuttons @silentpinecones #friendshipgoals #blessed #love</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  hey</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  i just wanted you all to know</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  that i am beautiful</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  thank you and good night</p><p><b>Gremlin</b>:  1) it’s barely noon</p><p><b>Gremlin</b>:  2) it’s been less than a week since your last i am beautiful message</p><p><b>Gremlin</b>:  3) fuck off</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  IWA-CHAN! Language!</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  ofc Iwaizumi is the one person who can make Oikawa use something close to proper punctuation and capitalization</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  i RESENT that Mattsun</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  like a lot.</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  SO MUCH</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  So SO MuCh</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Okay I get it</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  DooOOoO u?</p><p><b>floofball</b>:  Did someone give Oikawa-san sugar?</p><p><b>goofball</b>:  Or like a really, really good blow job?</p><p><b>floofball</b>:  WATARI WTF</p><p><b>goofball</b>:  What?</p><p><b>floofball</b>:  JFC DUDE</p><p><b>goofball</b>:  It’s a legitimate question.</p><p><b>Gremlin</b>:  I mean. He’s not wrong.</p><p><b>Gremlin</b>:  It, sadly, is a legit question in regards to Oikawa.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Iwa-chan</b>:  hey you doing okay?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  psssh of course i am</p><p><b>Iwa-chan</b>:  Oikawa</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  ye?</p><p><b>Iwa-chan</b>:  seriously</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  seriously? i’m in a shit place but it’ll pass</p><p><b>Iwa-chan</b>:  do you want me to call?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  no</p><p><b>Iwa-chan</b>:  do you need me to call?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  probably</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  Why tf are we talking about someone giving Oikawa a bj</p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  What tf did I miss</p><p><b>floofball</b>:  Watari Shinji is a disgusting human being and I cannot believe that you guys all thought once upon a time that he was the sweet, quiet one.</p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  Alright so jst another day in the chat</p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  Got it</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>“Okay so I need you to let me ramble. I know that what I’m gonna say is partially bullshit and stupid. But. I just need. I need to get it out.”</p><p> </p><p>“I will do my best to keep from calling you a dumbass until after you finish.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Iwa-chan.”</p><p> </p><p>“You’re welcome. Now tell me what’s up.”</p><p> </p><p>“So I assume you know about Makki and Mattsun considering you had that movie night last week with Mattsun.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well Makki called me the day that Mattsun basically confessed, freaking out about how their friends with benefits thing wasn’t really that and that Mattsun lied about it being no homo or something. And I told him that it wasn’t a big deal because they both wanted to bang each other - yes I know you’re wincing and rolling your eyes at me right now - so they should just go do it. Then I called him out on how he wasn’t even mad about the no homo thing he was just mad Mattsun lied to him or something like that. And I told him that he’s been in love with Mattsun practically forever and that Mattsun loves him nearly as much as he loves Mattsun and then he hung up on me and sent me a message a few minutes later saying that Mattsun just told him he loved him and now I haven’t heard from him in like a week and I’m worried about him and I feel like somehow he and Mattsun aren’t going to get to be together now and it’s all my fault because I treated it like a joke. Like I feel like there’s something wrong with me because I can’t even give one of my best friends decent advice because I don’t know what it’s like to be in love like that at all. Like I dunno if I ever wanna be and yeah.”</p><p> </p><p>“Are you done or do you need to ramble more?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m done for now.”</p><p> </p><p>“Well-”</p><p> </p><p>“Wait. No. I’m done.”</p><p> </p><p>“Asshole.”</p><p> </p><p>“Mhmm.”</p><p> </p><p>“First of all there is nothing wrong with you. Despite how much I say otherwise you’re a pretty decent person. And just because you’ve never been in love and may never be in love doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. Maybe you’ll meet someone and fall in love. Maybe one day you’ll look at that guy you’ve been sleeping with and realize you want more. Maybe you never will and that’s perfectly okay too.”</p><p> </p><p>“You promise?”</p><p> </p><p>“I promise. Secondly: Makki and Mattsun are our friends. A couple of our best friends. But their relationship, or lack of, is not our responsibility. We can give them advice, we can hang out with them and get their minds off things. But we can’t make their relationship work for them. We can’t make Makki come out of hiding. We can’t make Mattsun stop loving Makki the way he does. We can’t do anything other than just support them as best as we can. If Makki doesn’t want to take your advice that’s not on you. Yes Mattsun is worried that he pushed too hard because Makki hasn’t been in touch with him. But he knows that no matter what happens we’ll be here for him. And that’s all he wants. I’m sure it’s all Makki wants too.”</p><p> </p><p>“Maybe I should just let Makki know that when he wants to talk he should let me know.”</p><p> </p><p>“I think that’d be a good plan. Now thirdly. You are a dumbass.”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks Iwa-chan. You really have a way with words.”</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>goofball</b>:  All I’m saying</p><p><b>goofball</b>:  Is that I don’t understand how we have all these hot friends</p><p><b>goofball</b>:  Yet we never do body shots when we have a party.</p><p><b>floofball</b>:  OMG WATARI</p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  I mean he has a point</p><p><b>floofball</b>:  KYOUTANI!</p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  Well have you seen Iwaizumi’s abs lately?</p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  Or Watari’s?</p><p><b>Kyouken</b>:  Hell even Kunimi’s?</p><p><b>saltedcaramel</b>:  plz dnt bring me into this</p><p><b>saltedcaramel</b>:  ur nt licking tequila off me</p><p><b>satledcaramel</b>:  or anything else</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  kyouken i am hurt that you didn’t list my amazing abs</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  come on</p><p><b>Sky Captain</b>:  i’d let you lick tequila off me</p><p><b>Gremlin</b>:  Don’t let him fool you. He’s too ticklish to let anyone do body shots off him.</p><p><b>floofball</b>:  Do I even want to know how you know that?</p><p><b>Gremlin</b>:  I don’t know… do you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Look all I know is that if he constantly leaves you feeling ??????!!!???? then he’s not the one for you.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  It’s less ??????!!!????</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  And more</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  ??</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  ….?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  !!!!!!!!</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Fuck and now I’m talking like him. Just imagine obnoxious noises and hand gestures and it might as well be him talking.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Honestly I don’t know what to do.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I’m probably gonna regret this. But I have a friend</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Shit hit enter too fast</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  aawwwwww you have a friend</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Shut up.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I have a friend who has a crush and could use some advice.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  You want to have a go at it?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  you want me to talk to them?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  my main relationships consist of my never ending friendship with iwaizumi and lots of delightful sex with my fwb</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  sure what could go wrong</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I didn’t give any names but I told a friend that I had someone who could use some advice.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Want me to add him to the chat?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Whatever it’s not like I have anything to lose at this point.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Except what little bit of dignity I have left.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  That’s the spirit!</p><p>
  <b>Tetsurou has added prettiest boy to the chat</b>
</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  so i have arrived</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  what can i do for you?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  I like this guy I know and have no idea how to deal with it.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Kuroo seems to think you can help somehow.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  he gives you butterflies?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Cringey but yeah I guess.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  makes you feel like you could do anything when he smiles at you?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Kind of yeah.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  makes your heart go !!!!!! and your stomach swoopy?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  … Yeah.</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  okay</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  here’s my advice:</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  just tell him you like him and he has a cute butt</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  …</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  i’ve found that when you tell a boy he has a cute butt it tends to work in your favor</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  my work here is done</p><p>
  <b>prettiest boy has left the chat</b>
</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  I would like to say that I can’t believe that just happened.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  But… it did didn’t it?</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  TELL HIM HE HAS A NICE BUTT</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  THAT WAS YOUR ADVICE?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  hey it worked for me and thigh-chan</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  he has a nice butt, i told him he has a nice butt, i got to see in intimate detail just how nice it is</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  and i get to continue to see it in intimate detail</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  and it is still a very nice butt</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  smh</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>can’t keep me down </b>@dddddddecoy</p><p>I am 35 cheetos tall</p><p> </p><p><b>DADCHI</b> @sawamuradadchi</p><p>replying to @dddddddecoy</p><p>why are you measuring yourself in cheetos?</p><p> </p><p><b>can’t keep me down</b> @dddddddecoy</p><p>replying to @sawamuradadchi</p><p>because we were all out of doritos</p><p> </p><p><b>Kuroo Tetsurou</b> @cat01cap</p><p>@bnanasmthbldmn</p><p>    <b>can’t keep me down </b>@dddddddecoy</p><p>    I am 35 cheetos tall</p><p> </p><p><b>I’m the normal guy </b>@bnanasmthbldmn</p><p>replying to @cat01cap</p><p>just. shut up</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  so how’re things going?</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  he lost the emojis next to his name</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  he has to earn them back</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  ooooh shit</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  yeah</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  ooooh shit is right</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  it’s not even that he lied to me</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  because let’s face it no one believed the no homo. not even me.</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  it’s the fact that</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  I dunno.</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  I just…. feel cheap somehow</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  like it doesn’t even make sense. But I just can’t with him right now</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  hey you do what you gotta do.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  you guys are endgame anyway</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  you think so?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i told you. i’ve never met two people more made for each other than you two</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  awww you do have a heart</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  sometimes yes i do</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  now tell me about that new show you want me to watch</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>tobio</b>:  hey Hinata can I have my jacket back soon?</p><p><b>HINATA</b>:  I dunno can I have my virginity back soon?</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  the hell?</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  dude you’re still a virgin.</p><p><b>HINATA</b>:  I know but it was fun to say.</p><p><b>Tadashi</b>:  Wait. Hinata’s a virgin?</p><p><b>Tadashi</b>:  How do you know that Kageyama?</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  uh cause he told me?</p><p><b>Tsukishima</b>:  Things I never needed to know about someone I went to high school with.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  He’s a virgin.</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Why did that feel like such an important thing to read?</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Fuck my life.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  RIP Tsukki</p><p><b>SaltLik</b>:  Fuck you too.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tadashi</b>:  Why did he tell you?</p><p><b>Tadashi</b>:  What was it truth or dare or something?</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  no? we were just talking about things.</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  and it came up?</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  we do talk about things other than volleyball.</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  he is my friend.</p><p><b>HINATA</b>:  Kageyama is like one of my best friends. We talk about a lot of things.</p><p><b>HINATA</b>:  We’re not dumb high schoolers anymore.</p><p><b>Tsukishima</b>:  Yeah now you’re dumb young adults.</p><p><b>HINATA</b>:  You can’t see my face right now Tsukishima but I am rolling my eyes so hard at you.</p><p><b>Tsukishima</b>:  Oh I’m so intimidated right now.</p><p><b>HINATA</b>:  You should be.</p><p><b>Tadashi</b>:  Hey Kageyama you ever feel like they don’t even realize we’re here?</p><p><b>tobio</b>:  yeah</p><p><b>Tsukishima</b>:  Just because you grew a little bit doesn’t mean a thing Shrimp.</p><p><b>HINATA</b>:  YOU WANNA FIGHT???</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>rooster</b>:  Hey Sawamura do you have the notes from your Literature class last year? I wanna compare them to the stuff we’ve been going over in my class this year.</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  You are such a nerd Kuroo.</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  You’ll be fine.</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  But yeah I’m pretty sure I still have them somewhere. Give me a couple hours once I get home.</p><p><b>rooster</b>:  I’m a nerd but you love me anyway. Cause you’re one too.</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  Better not tell you now</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  Ask again later</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  so I know we don’t really talk about this</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  but there’s a guy who I’ve been working with at uni</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  and he is adorable</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  he gets flustered so easily and now I see why you enjoyed teasing me so much when we first started this whole thing</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  because damn. I just wish I could actually see his face.</p><p><b>starlight</b>:  thigh-chan am i gonna lose you to your uni crush?</p><p><b>starlight</b>:  *sniffles*</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  he’s adorable but I don’t even know if he actually likes me or he just gets that flustered</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  and we’ve got a pretty nice thing going</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  and you have a nice ass that I am happily acquainted with</p><p><b>starlight</b>:  i see how it is. you’re only nice to me because i have a nice ass.</p><p><b>starlight</b>:  i’m more than just my ass you know</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  Do you…</p><p><b>Daichi</b>:  Do you want me to be nice to you for other reasons?</p><p><b>starlight</b>:  ….i don’t know</p><p> </p><p>—</p><p> </p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I JUST TOLD THE CUTE LIBRARY GUY THAT HE LOVED ME</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  ABORT MISSION I NEED TO GO BECOME ONE WITH A ROCK WALL FAR AWAY</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  wow chill out kuroo-chan</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:   you’re not the only one with issues okay</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  What’s up? What happened?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i may have implied to thigh-chan that i might want more than just sex from him</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  And…? Do you?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  fuck if i know</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  you’re always talking about feelings and makki and mattsun are doing this dumb dance with each other and your friend has a crush and i honestly don’t know if i am catching feelings or if i’m just feeling left out because all the rest of you are catching feelings</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  fuck all of you and your feelings and emotions and romantic shit</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  why can’t you leave me and my thigh-chan in peace</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  You know you don’t have to make it about feelings right?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I joke about it sometimes but there’s nothing wrong with the way you two are together.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I just don’t think I could ever be that casual about it all. But if you can then you do you.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i’d rather have my thigh-chan doing me</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  smh Somehow I knew you’d go there. And yet I said it anyway.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  you know me so well kuroo-chan</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  if i ever had the urge to date someone it would probably be you</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  …</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  and now i just made this super weird didn’t i</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  fuck</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  so i just told kuroo-chan that if i ever had the urge to date someone it would be him</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  and now i want to bury myself in the woods and never return</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  because earlier today i also basically told thigh-chan that i might want more than sex from him</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  what the hell is wrong with me today?</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  Nothing?</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  Well nothing other than what’s always wrong with you.</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  what’s got you so upset about it? Do you not feel that way about them?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i don’t know what i feel. i’m really fucked up about it all. i don’t know if i actually have these feelings or if i just think i should because everyone around me seems to be having them</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  You know what you need?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  to be buried in the woods where no one can ever find me</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  You need a Tooru day.</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  Go hit up a spa. Or a gym. Or a mall. Or all three.</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  go do something fun and get your mind off of it all and see where it takes you.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  makki you’re a genuis</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  I know. When I’m not being stupid about a boy I can be pretty smart.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  does he have any emojis back yet?</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  No. but I feel like he’s getting close to the heart eyes again.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  oooh progress</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>DADCHI </b>@sawamuradadchi</p><p>sometimes you just need a day away from everything #timetothink #beautifulday</p><p>[image id: view from the ground looking up into leafy trees, sky just visible through the dark green leaves]</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p><b>bish i’m free</b> @freestylin247</p><p>replying to @sawamuradadchi</p><p>booooooring. go jump in a lake or something</p><p> </p><p><b>DADCHI </b>@sawamuradadchi</p><p>replying to @freestylin247</p><p>I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS</p><p> </p><p><b>bish i’m free</b> @freestylin247</p><p>replying to @sawamuradadchi</p><p>because #whynot</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>grandkingoiks</b>
</p><p> </p><p>[image id: on the ground perspective of volleyballs scattered across a gym floor]</p><p> </p><p>sometimes you just need a #meday</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>grandkingoiks</b>
</p><p> </p><p>[image id: on the ground perspective of someone standing a few steps away, only their shoes and socks are visible]</p><p> </p><p>sometimes your #meday is interrupted by a former pain in the butt kouhai @therealkageyamatobio really needs to stop stalking me</p><p><br/>
<br/>
</p><p>
  <b>therealkageyamatobio</b>
</p><p> </p><p>[image id: two young men (Oikawa Tooru &amp; Kageyama Tobio) are standing with their arms around each other’s shoulders. One (Oikawa) is flashing a peace sign at the camera and the other (Kageyama) is giving the camera an exasperated look]</p><p> </p><p>when your middle school senpai (@grandkingoiks) crashes your practice sometimes all you can do is go along with it… @iwaizumithegremlin please come collect your best friend</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Kuroo Tetsurou </b>@cat01cap</p><p>Outlook not so good, Cannot predict now, My answer is no</p><p>thanks magic 8 ball #fml</p><p>[image id: a black magic 8 ball sits in the middle of a pile of papers with messy handwriting scattered across a surface]</p><p> </p><p><b>owl always love you </b>@hoothoothoot</p><p>replying to @cat01cap</p><p>bro?</p><p> </p><p><b>Kuroo Tetsurou </b>@cat01cap</p><p>replying to @hoothoothoot</p><p>bro :(</p><p> </p><p><b>owl always love you</b> @hoothoothoot</p><p>replying to @cat01cap</p><p>broooooooo</p><p> </p><p><b>Kuroo Tetsurou</b> @cat01cap</p><p>replying to @hoothoothoot</p><p>bro :)</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  And it’s just like.  I don’t even know what to do anymore.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  It’s not like I thought I’d have life figured out or anything.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  But I didn’t really think it’d be this much of a disaster still.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Kuroo.  Seriously.  You’re thinking way too much about this.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  I mean I get it.  It’s not like you can just jump in head first, that’s not the way you do things.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  But come on.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  It is a disaster Yaku!</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  So you like two guys at once.  So?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  SO? SoooOOOoOOoO?</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Don’t get dramatic on me.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  You’re not getting it.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Let me tell you a secret Kuroo.  You’re not that special. Everyone wants to believe that no matter how similar of an experience they have with others they’re still uwu unique.  But they’re not. We’re not. We’re all disasters. We’re all fucked up. Being a fucked up disaster of a human is not a mind shattering unique experience.  So here’s the thing. You just pick your favorite train wreck of a person and roll with it.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Okay ngl that was pretty awesome.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  BUT.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I like this guy, right?  And that’s all fine and well.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  It’s even fine and well enough that I’m starting to like another guy.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  But this other guy I’m getting feelings for is happily in this fwb thing.  And if he’s happy there’s no way I’d ask him to stop that. So how would I have a chance at anything with him.  And I don’t even know if the first guy likes me back!</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Just go for it!  #relationshipanarchy</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  As long as you’re all honest with each other what the fuck does it matter?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  ….</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Anarchy is scary.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  So is life Kuroo.</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>me-me</b>:  hey</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  Mattsun</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Hey Makki.</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  hey I got a playlist for you</p><p><b>me-me</b> <b>shared a link </b><b><em>songs to make out with your boyfriend to</em></b></p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  is…</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  is this just Never Gonna Give You Up</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  for two hours?</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  Of course it is</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  Fuck I love you.</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  I’m kinda of fond of you too</p><p><b>me-me</b>:  So you wanna come over and make out for a couple hours</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  I’m swooning.</p><p><b>Memelord</b>:  I’ll also be there in 20 minutes</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>can’t keep me down </b>@dddddddecoy</p><p>so my boyfriend!!! is the biggest dork and just confessed to me by yelling (in front of all our friends) that he liked my stupid face and that i had a cute butt</p><p> </p><p><b>can’t keep me down </b>@dddddddecoy</p><p>[image id:  two young men (Tsukishima Kei &amp; Hinata Shouyou) have their faces pressed together and are looking into the camera, both are blushing and trying not to smile too widely (and failing)]</p><p>LOOK AT THIS FACE (@bnanasmthbldmn) I AM #BLESSED WITH THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER</p><p> </p><p><b>King Tooru</b> @grandkingoiks</p><p>@bnanasmthbldmn  told you it works</p><p> </p><p><b>I’m the normal guy </b>@bnanasmthbldmn</p><p>replying to @grandkingoiks</p><p>That was you?  I’m gonna kill @cat01cap</p><p> </p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  seriously his thighs….</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  be still my beating meat</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Do you ever, and I mean EVER, think before you speak anymore?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  do i ever what before i what now?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  if you saw his thighs kuroo-chan you’d understand</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  wait!  i think i have a picture somewhere</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I swear to god Oikawa if this is another dick pic</p><p>
  <b>prettiest boy sent an image</b>
</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  now tell me you wouldn’t kill a man to be trapped between those thighs</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  like fuuuuuuuck</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  I need to go</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  wow i mean i like them too but damn</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  we really need to get you a bf or gf or fwb or something if a pair of clothed thighs does THAT much for you</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  kuroo-chan?</p><p><b>prettiest boy</b>:  seriously.  kuroo? you okay?</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  NOPE</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  NOPE NOPE NOPE</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPE</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  The fuck Kuroo?  It’s like 3AM.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Why are you even awake.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Working on a project.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  And Oikawa was having trouble sleeping so I was keeping him company.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Oikawa?</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Is he your library guy or something?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  NOPE.  BUT HIS FWB IS.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Oh shit.  Seriously?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  YEP.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  How do you know for sure?</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Oikawa was being himself and being a perverted jerk and made a comment about his fwb’s thighs (which I mean he calls the guy thigh-chan so okay whatever) and I recognized the gym shorts.  Because they were the same shorts the guy in the library was wearing a few days ago. Not just a similar pair or whatever. THE SAME PAIR BECAUSE I SPILLED SOME JUICE ON THEM IN THE LIBRARY AND WE MADE A JOKE ABOUT HOW THE STAIN LOOKED LIKE A FISH AND GUESS WHAT THE SHORTS ON THIGH-CHAN HAD ON THEM.  GUESS YAKU.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Holy shit.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Wait.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing Kuroo.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  This means that both the guys you like clearly already like each other.</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  YEAH THEY’RE REGULARLY FUCKING EACH OTHER’S BRAINS OUT</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  Why the fuck would they want anything to do with me?</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Hey this is Yaku Morisuke.  So I got your username from Kuroo and I have to ask you something and ask that you answer me honestly because… well you’ll see.  I have to ask you. Do you have any kind of feelings towards Kuroo? Because I am currently dealing with a potential panic attack level of freak out from him that more or less stems from feelings he has towards you and someone else.  Someone else that you both know.</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  his library guy is my thigh-chan isn’t he?</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  I feel like I shouldn’t tell you but yeah.  He is. And Kuroo is panicking because he thinks he doesn’t stand a chance with either of you (not that I know what he actually wants from either of you and honestly I don’t even know if he knows what he wants.)</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  if you got together with your uni crush would we be done?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  where is this coming from?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  daichi.  would our fwb arrangement end if you got together with him?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  tooru what the fuck?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  will you answer me please?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  i would hope it wouldn’t but that would be a discussion that would have to happen with me and him</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  why are you even asking?  it’s just a little crush. not like i’m looking for anything with anyone.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  that’s the thing yaku-chan</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  in all honesty i’m not sure what i want either</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  i like what i have with my thigh-chan</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  and i like what i have with kuroo-chan</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  and i like seeing them both happy and hearing about the stupid things they say to each other and their dumb flirting</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  and what can i do?  it’s selfish to try to keep them both to myself when they both want each other.</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  but it’s not really right to keep them from each other either.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  #relationshipanarchy</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  what?</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  As I recently said to someone else.  Just go for it. #relationshipanarchy</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  If you want them both what’s the harm in talking to them and seeing what happens?</p><p><b>Oikawa</b>:  the mortifying ordeal of being known that’s what’ll happen</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  God you two dramatic losers are perfect for each other.</p><p> </p><p>-</p><p> </p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Kuroo.  I’m only going to say this one more time.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  JUST GO FOR IT</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Things will turn out okay in the end.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  For once in your life just trust me</p><p><b>Tetsurou</b>:  What do you mean?  I always trust you.  I might fight with you a lot.  But I trust you. I always have.</p><p><b>Yaku</b>:  Then trust me and go for it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Tooru made a new chat</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tooru has added thigh-chan to the chat</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Tooru has added kitten to the chat</b>
</p><p> </p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  so.  sawamura.  kuroo.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  guess what</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  apparently we’re all into each other</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  and apparently we have been for a little while</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  and apparently we should just go for it and see what happens</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  but the thing is sawamura.  daichi.. thigh-chan. i like what we have.  i don’t necessarily want anything else with you.  i like the fun we have and the flirting and the dirty innuendos</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  but kuroo-chan.  i like what we have too.  since that day in the hospital where we made the nurses’ lives miserable and the only company we had was each other.  you get it. you get me.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  but you also have this connection together that’s something special.  you’re this flower waiting patiently to bloom and i don’t want to see it wilt and wither away</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i just don’t know</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  holy shit tooru when you do something you DO it</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  how is it that I’m not more surprised that each of us have been talking to the others without really ever telling each other?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  like shit</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I am going to kill Yaku and then leave the country for awhile guys.  It was nice knowing you all.</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Kuroo.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Sawamura.</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Is it really that bad?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Yes.  It is.  I am mortified.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Do you know how many explicit details I have about you thanks to Oikawa being an extreme oversharer?  I could probably tell you things about yourself that you never even knew.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  How the hell am I supposed to even look at you let alone date you?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  You want to date me?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  ….</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Yeah.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  awwwww kuroo-chan</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Shut up Oikawa.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  but you’re so cute</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Do you want to date Oikawa?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I don’t know.  I like how he and I are now but I wouldn’t be opposed?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Oikawa?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i don’t have the slightest clue.  didn’t you read what i wrote a couple minutes ago?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i like how everything is now</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i just want you guys to like how things are too</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  So…. if I asked Kuroo on a date and he said yes you wouldn’t be upset?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i’d only be upset if we have to stop flirting and sleeping together</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Kuroo?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  What?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Would you be upset if you and I went on a date but I still slept with Oikawa?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  I don’t think so.</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  ….do we try a date and see how things go?</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Oikawa?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i’m not taking either of you on a date unless it’s straight to my bed</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Oh fuck you you know what I was asking.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  you can fuck me if you really wanna but i dunno how sawamura will feeeeeeeel about it</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Oikawa.</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  go for it i guess</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  what’s the worst that can happen at this point?  we’re awkward around each other for a few weeks until it dies down?</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Okay.</p><p><b>thigh-chan</b>:  Okay.  Kuroo and I will go on a date.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Holy shit.</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  HOLY SHIT</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  This is for real, right?  You’re not just fucking around with me?</p><p><b>Tooru</b>:  i’m an asshole kuroo-chan but i’m not THAT much of an asshole</p><p><b>kitten</b>:  Fair point.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>———————————————————</span>
</p><p> </p><p><b>King Tooru</b> @grandkingoiks</p><p>@sawamuradadchi  @cat01cap #relationshipanarchy am i right @yakkityaku</p><p> </p><p><b>not short just fun sized </b>@yakkityaku</p><p>replying to @grandkingoiks</p><p>Ugh don’t @ me… don’t involve me in your disaster i have my own #relationshipanarchy to worry about thanks</p><p> </p><p><b>King Tooru</b> @grandkingoiks</p><p>replying to @yakkityaku</p><p>nah… thank you</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>come yell at me over on <a href="http://ezzydean.tumblr.com">tumblr</a> if you want!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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